the lies of reality

When there's an idea brewing inside of the Fairmount home, it could run into one of two sharply different ends: one where it pretty much gets shat on by everyone or it has a snowball's effect of growing and growing, for better or for worse. Despite the very springy April we're having, we've had a snowball rolling down the mountain and it's got us all in the right state of mind. There's also a slight feeling of comraderie that I'd always hoped for since moving out to the farm in October. We'll always have our spots amongst each other where we're pissed off at one another over eaten slices of pizza or d-bo'd alcohol. However, it's no surprise that something potentially big has climbed up over the horizon, and I feel like it's going to be up to me to make sure that this snowball doesn't instantly melt on us.

Years ago, freshmen year in Murray to be exact, my group of friends/football teammates were about to take some shots before hitting up a party. A strange red bottle was passed around the room and we poured the red liquid into shotglasses. "Hey, guys," Demetrius yelled. "Fuck it; we're taking shots of it--we should just call ourselves Aftershock!" It was cheered and we laughed at it...and then it stuck for all four years of college. Our group name was Aftershock; we were known to peers and professors as being part of the big Aftershock clan. We were from different walks of life, mostly black, but all in all different. There was no one with the same points of view on anything, yet, we were able to coexist for years. It was the tightest group of friends I had except the guys I grew up with back in the old, old days. There was always talk about starting a company that encompassed all of our skills--music, law, film, finance, art, etc. We wanted to do something to keep the group going after college because, hey, we were having a blast and didn't want it to end. Unfortunately, it did, and it looks as though that dream of the old Aftershock crew sticking together looks more naive than anything, considering people are spread all over the country now, with some having kids and others thinking about marriage. A host of issues made me let go of the dream years ago...and then the opportunity to realize my dream returned.

Robbie blurts out one day, "our lives here are so random, we should make a reality show of it." Laughter followed and then ideas started flowing...and they didn't stop. They haven't stopped. A reality show posted on YouTube sounds fun, like something to keep up busy over the summer. But then I got to thinking about what this could mean. I don't expect MTV to call and say, "hey guys, you want a spot on our network?" However, this reality show concept, which mixes a little bit of stupidity with our reality, could be just what I need. Anyone who has known me very well for a very long time could easily say that I've always been interested in writing and production for film & television. I mean, what if this does work out? Then maybe my Aftershock/Imprint company idea could finally come into fruition...wow, a dream realized. Of course, I worry that I'm hyping myself up for failure. But I don't want to fail at this, so I imagine my effort will be ever-increasing to avoid the obstacles that come behind dealing with producing something/dealing with my roommates. Hey, say the show fails and no one watches it on YouTube. Okay, fine and dandy. But what would the next step be? Ahh, a vast canyon of ideas have come into my head where I'm dealing with publishing, music, fashion, all kinds of art projects. Music videos, movies, epic shoe design, non-profit charity work, the possibilities are endless.

Good Lord, have I found direction? I've been so lost without it for years, like in a holding pattern. Now, it seems like I know where I want to go and even though I'm not positive if I'm going to make it, the whole point of my new attitude returning from Ireland was to do what I wanted to do. It's all about being free to do what I can while I can. I expect plenty of naysayers and doubters, but that's okay. They can be useful, helping me to make sure that I prove them wrong. That's part of the fun anyway. Gosh, imagine what could happen if this whole idea in my head--which I haven't explained very well, I'm sorry, but I'm saving details and trying to keep from throwing all of my ideas on here where anyone can read them and steal them from me!--blew up and got me to the level I want to be on. It's way bigger than having lots of fame and fortune; it's about being able to reach people. I think that's way more important than the accolades of being famous. I don't care what people would think of me and I don't care for being a celebrity. It doesn't seem terribly appealing. However, the ability to say, "I'm Rocky Williams and I've got a project (let's just say film) that I'm going to make and in two years, it's going to be a box office hit." That means a lot of fucking people have seen something I've done! Maybe something good I've done! I don't feel like I necessarily have a lot of important messages to spread either, but if I have the opporunity to do so, I might as well try to get people thinking positively about charity or being healthy or being planet-friendly, and that's exactly what I do.

Ahh, it could just be me California dreaming....but so many different pieces of the puzzle I never questioned before are being questioned now, and the whole Fairmount reality-show is just the baby version of the big picture. It's all starting to make sense...for the time being.